Sunday 23rd January 2005

Spent yesterday evening filing. Over the past few months, having gathered a mountain of various paperwork and mail, it was time for a spring clean. Not sure about you, but I am notorious for holding on to any old piece of paper, sometimes purely for nothing more than sentimental reasons. Does finding it difficult to throw things away, make me a hoarder? Although I doubt my conditions seeks professional medical advice. My personal explanation is that I fear there will come a day, that I will really need documentary proof that I attended the Holland versus Switzerland game during Euro ’96. Tickets to the group match held at Villa Park, which I won, via a HSBC competition. For this reason, I hold on to things, which really I should have thrown away years ago. Too many times in the past, I have summed up the courage to throw something out, against my better judgment only to discover a few months later, the perfect reason for having said information or apparatus. Sending me into a mystery universe that I should save everything because you never know when it might come in useful. Useful is such a subjective word. Just as the saying goes, one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. How anyone can see gold buried

A tidy up does you good and is in many ways, therapeutic. Looks like I am not the only one to hold such a view. Out of all the chaos, you bring some sense of order. The fact that you have done it yourself, makes it that much sweeter. Perhaps more regular applicants of elbow grease may actually help me become a healthy person, inside of my current status of lazy slob.

Can you plan the perfect day? No, it just happens. Events, people and circumstances come together in a moment which sticks in your mind. The soundtrack of course is very important, and that too triggers the mind to remember these special memories, which we hold so dear. Driving to the Midlands yesterday afternoon, I had the time to reflect on the quiet M40, the importance of what appear insignificant events, although on merit are spectacular. When was the last time you actually, stopped and considered the grand star in the sky, as it rises in the morning. Or the bright shining white light, high up in the night sky? Busy life. Stuck in our busy lives, we rarely get the chance to stop, look up in awe and the wonderful beauty of mother nature. My thoughts returned to the road, the traffic was building, the clock was ticking. I clicked over to the next track on the stereo, signaled looking into my rear view mirror, to find the road clear, put my foot on the accelerated into the fast lane. As if by an act of some supreme being, the song I had selected, summed up the moment that had just passed, “then one look at you, and I know it’s gonna be…”

Leaving the staff car park on Friday, I felt a sense of achievement. Meeting the challenge, which on Tuesday morning had felt like more than mountain to climb. This was more than my usual Friday feeling. A self assurance came over me, like no time before. I had been in my new position for twenty-one days and on this, the 21st day, the realisation came over me. The right decision had been made, finally finding my feet, knowing this job will be here for me tomorrow.

On Saturday afternoon, MTV Base had an all request show. A romantic soft ballad was playing with the sweet soulful vocals of Brandy. From her earlier recordings in the mid 1990s, when she was finding success with her own television series, Moesha. I had not heard the track, but was instantly drawn to the deeply powerful lyrics that move your heart. These are the moments, when you feel the song was written just for you, and it not just a coincidence that I happen to stumble upon this track on music television.

Have you ever found the one
You’ve dreamed of all of your life
You’d do just anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you’ve given your heart to
Only to find that one won’t give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

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