Monday 23rd May 2005

The morning after the night before, is the standard phrase, but it actually refers more to the day than the night. I awoke, hoping everything had been a silly dream and that things were actually different. Almost instantly I came to the realisation that it was Monday morning, the real world was waiting for me and I had to get out of my stupid daze. Deep inside I felt empty, hoping the weather would cheer me up. I pulled open my blind, to be presented with this beautiful, tranquil scene.

Bright blue acres of sky, with not a sign of cloud or dark dull shadow. The song I wanted to hear at this moment, was Brand New Day by Sting. For a change, the weather did not reflect my mood, and was almost the complete opposite. I got out of bed and got ready for work, trying my best to concentrate on the busy day and week the lay ahead. My journey to work is short, uneventful and at times tedious. This morning it gave me the opportunity to clear my head. I also listen to local radio station before switching to my own, home brew of CDs. Mix 107 are same as any of the other run of the mill radio station. Local meaningless prizes in competitions, banter which always swings close to the taste boundary and constant discussion about what the presenters did last night. However, on one part, the most crucial part they are always focused. The music. Almost as if, they know exactly how I feel and the songs that would best suit my current situation. This morning was once again, a case in point. Wet Wet Wet with Goodnight Girl, closely followed by the contemporary, Maroon 5 and She Will Be Loved. I felt touched by the choice of songs, so unique, so perfect. In a moment of spontaneity, I placed a random unmarked CD into the CD player. A few songs cheered me up and I felt myself coming back to normal (if there could ever be such a thing. I came into work refreshed, but feel down into reality with a bump. Work was strangely busy, but it did little to occupy my mind. I tried my best to concentrate and perform to the best of my abilities but I feel that I was not up to my usual high standard. With other things occupying my mind, I felt a cold coming on. The last thing I needed, after several months, if not a whole year of sound good health. Things were looking bleak to say the least. Making it to the end of the day, I got into the car and could not leave quick enough through the gates. That CD was still in the player, as I scanned the tracks and let it click onto Holiday by Madonna. How fitting, as the bubble gum pop vocals started the rain drizzled down, on the dull grey day coming to a close. Complete contrast to this morning. The upbeat music kept me going as I came up to the main junction roundabout, the final bottleneck before I get home. Looking due south west, over the M40, I saw a rainbow, as the rain finally began to clear. Was it a sign? Who knows? All I knew was I did not want a weekend like this for a long long time. How do I feel right now? Hope, there is always hope.

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