Friday 28th May 2004

My housemate Nav told me that he knew a ‘Strickland’ back at his secondary school. No relation to the case of the bully, recently in the news. To understand the significance of this comment, you need to go back to my entry from Friday 23rd January 2004. I have not had the pleasure or (discomfort) to know anyone from my favourite childhood movies. Until now, that is. From the instant introduction, my thoughts drifted to pitballs, a sports almanac and of course, manure! Yes, the arch villain from the Back To The Future Trilogy. Perhaps arch villain is too strong a description. George McFly’s rival, that sounds better. It is not for me to discuss the major cosmic powers at play when it comes to the mystery of chance events. The more I drift from a skeptic to a believer, that everything happens for a reason. To not be in control of my destiny is a feeling, I hate. But I am beginning to learn that it is choice, not chance – that determines our destiny. Even the most smallest and insignificant decisions you make, can have a paramount consequence later on. Sometimes this decisions are even forced by others. Sippy and I had been sitting on a table in the middle of the hall. Then we were moved towards the back of the hall, when the evening meal was served. We chose a table, thinking little of the chain reaction of events we were just about to start. So Biff and some friends came and sat down on our table. Who knows where the conversation will take us and whether, these trivial introductions will go beyond the few hours of the evening. I try to tell myself I am a good judge of character. But even, I have been proved wrong. Haven’t we all? But Biff had little in common with his Hollywood name sake. A comforting thought, he does not want to know how Sibtain reacts when someone calls him, "yellow".

[Image courtesy of Aaron Aryanpur Caricatures]

I find it very difficult to control my level of expectations, generally. When there is something around the corner I am looking forward to, I begin to elevate the occasion, far beyond what is deemed necessary. Then, when everything falls apart at the seems, and I found myself inconsolable. Having invested so much hope and great expectation into this something, and when it doesn’t go to plan, I feel somewhat disappointed and even cheated that things did not go according to plan.

One of the more strange events of the evening, was my conversation with a waiter. For a young man in his early twenties, and of Anglo-Saxon heritage, I was rather bemused, when he asked, “Is Raghav playing tonight?”. I was then shocked to discover he had a likely for the Urban Asian music scene and wanted to know what other acts were playing. Everyone to their own, and in my own personal nature, I should have been quiet pleased of the social integration taking place between two very different communities. But for some reason, my thoughts drifted back to one of my first nights out in Leicester, at the beginning of this final year. My friend Gareth, had said, “Teg, it just doesn’t look right!”. He was referring to the image of the white man on the dance floor, bopping along to Punjabi MC’s, ‘Mundian To Bach Ke’, which really means ‘From Boys Stay Safe’ (literal) but ‘Beware Of The Boys’ was used by the media. I had until, this night always agreed with Gareth. 😀

Everyone knows that I am not heavily into my desi vibes (unlike my sisters!) For every two thousand English (Western) songs that I like, there are a handful (I mean handful) that I like in terms of Bhangra. Don’t get me wrong, some of the songs just make you want to get up and dance. As my blog entry from 18th December 2003, will testify. In terms of Asian music I listen to, I have Urban Explosion which has a nice diverse range of music, which generally does blend quite well. Then subsequently, in December, I obtained a copy of Urban Fusion, on the pivotal advice of the doctor. No, not that Doctor but this rather special doctor. The artist billing, for the evening, was not the main selling point for me, it never was going to be that simple. I was aware of a few artists that were playing, from having seen the Shared Folder on the family PC after my sister’s have both been on KaZaa. Anyway, all talk of personal preference aside, I was glad that Raghav did perform on the night. (Even if with some stupid red baseball cap!) It left a sour taste in the mouths of those leaving and spreading cyber lies, via the Punjab 2000 message board.

Looking back over the past four years at Uni, and as I enter my last few days in Leicester as a student. What have I achieved? One of the most important goals for me was to meeting new people. Being that have in their own way, made a contribution to my life at University. What is difficult for me to comprehend, is how quietly Uni life comes to an end. It started with fireworks, great expectations (not that topic again!) and hope. It ends, softly with the vision of me walking down by the canal and disappearing into the distance. Maybe not quite the beautiful picture, but close, very close.

I have always wondered how the more affluent parts of student community live. With all those expensive designer tastes, champagne and intoxicating dress sense. Chauffeur driven in their neighbour’s Porsche. No accommodation or regular rent payment worries. Living the life of luxury, and with some style. I envy you people!

A few final minutes to reflect, although I doubt I will ever stop thinking about all those passing moments. How did they drift by so quickly? As quickly as the water drifts across the stream. How did four years, which seemed like a lifetime, pass by with almost the flicking of an eye? Leicester… my time has come… I bid you good night….

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