Get Carter

Part Two of my blog post of Pavneet and Emily’s wedding, you can may want to read the first post on My Best Friend’s Wedding.

I was woken up at around 9:30am, by housekeeping knocking on my hotel bedroom door. When I did not respond, I am sure I heard the cleaner come in, see me out spark on the bed and say that she would return later. It took me a good few minutes (I would estimate as much as ten, perhaps more) to get my bearings. I am sure you have had the same, when you wake up the first morning, in unfamiliar surroundings. It slowly came back to me, yes I was at Pav and Emily’s wedding and last night had been a bit of a blast. I recall Jav, Dee and I walking through a muddy track making our way back to the hotel at around 1:30am. We were picked up by Em’s Mum, who came to our rescue in her Golf to collect us and drive us back. It would have taken us a while to make our way back on foot (some of us were wearing Persian style footwear!).

Dragging myself out of bed, I tried to remember if breakfast stopped being served at 10am or 10:30am or 11am? I put on some clothes and headed over to wake up Jav and Dee. They were in a pretty bad state themselves, but awake and hungry. They believed they stopped serving breakfast and we should make our way down to the restaurant sharpish, as it was already gone 10am. Making my way down through the corridor, into reception and into reception I was greeted by a loud cheer from one corner of the room. These cheers came from a table with Pav, Div, Nige, Rav and others. My desire to make a low-key entrance and have a quiet leisurely breakfast had been dashed.

Vegas Air

[Image courtesy of Yes, That Dress is Hideous]

I would discover later, when I returned to my bedroom and checked in a mirror that my ‘bed’ hair looked as if I was a member of Flock Of Seagulls. I am sure most readers out there have seen the 1998 smash hit movie The Wedding Singer (which also features a DeLorean). Yes, my hair did actually look that bad! . I had a few hours to sort myself after breakfast although it was a shame to have to say goodbye to the boys. We popped over to Pav’s room to say goodbye (well from Jav and Dee) after breakfast and bumped into photographer Grace Hammond, as they was finalising the details for the rest of the day. It was a brief catch up, but Dee as always made us laugh. He had ensured some of the other guests got to enjoy Famous Grouse. I believe his conversation with Chris Witten went something like this

Dee: What you drinking?
Witten: Beer…!
Dee: What would you like to be drinking?
Witten: Erm….
Dee pours a shot of the famous Scottish whisky!

Your drinks sir...!

I headed back to my room, to wait for Michelle to arrive. It was another gloriously sunny day and I hope the weather would hold for as long as possible, or at the very least until the church service was finished. Ended onto the my ground floor terrace area, I waved at Foxy who was staying in the room opposite on the first floor. We were going to head off to the wedding around midday, so I had more than an hour to myself. I watched some BBC News but ultimately just needed to lie down for a while.

Michelle arrived around 11:45am, after getting a little lost and picking up the brown tourist information signposts, just as I was on the phone with her. I quickly got ready, now that I had my suit, shirt, shoes and tie and after a shower that made me feel much better, we headed down to reception to see what the plans were to get to the wedding and then the wedding reception venue. Phil, Sandra and Paul had arrived, so we sat with them in reception and had a drink, while waiting for others to get ready and head to the wedding. Michelle and I were offered lifts with others, but in the end, opted to go with the Stevens brothers in Sandra’s brand new company car – a black BMW 3 series. We were in convey following Paul “The Professor” Rendell’s Atlantic Blue Beemer over to the church. The church was in the middle of nowhere and had opened up their graveyard to allow us additional room to park. We headed into the church, The Holy Cross Church, Durley. As we went inside, I noticed my dear friend Barry with his wife Lisa. They had space for two others on their pew, so we joined them.

Stain Glass Window

I had not see Mr. Tuck since the last lad’s night out way back in September last year. It was good to catch up with him and Lisa, after the birth of their son, William (by pure coincidence, born on my birthday, so Tuck junior has the honour of being exactly thirty years younger than me!). Michelle and I had been given an order of service book to share and I was pleased with the choice of hymns. Jerusalem being a personal favourite (since the days I used to sing along with classmates at middle school. Thursday morning assembly would be hymn time, obviously something that is far too politically incorrect, in our modern world.). Once everyone had arrived, it was just a wait for the lady of the day to make her splendid entrance from the rear doors. The bridal procession began with the bridesmaids, Hannah and Tiffany, closely followed by chief bridesmaid Melanie. Finally we got to see Emily, held closely in the arms of her elder brother, Tom and wearing a fabulous white dress. The ceremony could begin. I must say, I was very impressed with Barry Tuck’s vocal performance. He does have a good pair of lungs on him to belt out the hymns!

Pav & Emily

Unfortunately as we took an age to get out of the church, we missed the confetti being thrown over the happy couple as they exited the church. I did, however, capture a few good photographs as the married couple jumped into the cream VW Beetle to make their way to the wedding venue, Pav blasting the horn a few times in celebratory fashion as they sped down the country road.

Pav & Em

We jumped back in the Beemer with Stevens and Sandra and headed back to the hotel. From here, we had to just collect our gifts and cards and arrange a taxi over to the farm. Unfortunately, no taxis were available and were concerned with missing all the celebrations, so Sandra drove us over in their car to the farm and we walked up to the marque. As the sun was out, everyone was making the most of the photo opportunies by the pond, including some great group shots.

Poole Extended FamilyKhural Extended Family

The marque had been transformed into the dining area for the wedding breakfast. (I hear that Emily and others had been up at the crack of dawn to set everything up!). It showed! We were on table India (as each table was named after a location the beautiful couple had visited on holiday). I was sitting next to Rav. He had swapped places with others to be sitting next to The Feather. As I explained to him, this was the second best seat in the house. The only other place you would want to be, is on the table with the golden couple. I was impressed with the layout of the tables. I had a luggage tag with my name on. Emily had put her foot down with now husband Pav and made sure my name was listed as Teg and not Terry. Plus the napkin holder had the Indian Railways (the biggest employer in the world) symbol printed upon in.

Indian RailwaysTable Place Card

As the rain started to come down, I thought it best to introduce myself to the table (most people already knew me from past functions but doubt they would remember Michelle). On our table were, Rav, Harveen, Peter, Vicky, Lisa, Barry and of course my lovely wife to be, Michelle.

Lisa, Barry & MichelleRav & Harveen

We got served drinks and waited patiently for the speeches. I thought I should capture the nervous of Mr. Thomas Fox, seconds before he was to give his Best Man’s Speech.


It was Susan, Em’s mother who spoke first, before the traditional speech from the groom. A short and sweet affair, with the classic line of, “After a few weeks of dating, Emily said to Pav, “You know this is just temporary, don’t you?”. This had the crowd laughing but it was just the warm up act before the head-liner Foxy would take to his feet.


The speech was short but it was able to hit the spot perfectly. Foxy mentioned a few stories from Berlin and more importantly Pav’s detailing, which was described as Pav, “polishing other men’s hot rods at the weekend”. These punchlines did have the guests laughing amid the sound of rain on the marquee roof. We toasted the happy couple!

After our meal, I helped clear three tables away, so the band could start playing. Paul had been providing background music up to that point and we had had the Indie Killers do a quick sound check. With the dance floor cleared, it was time to get this party started!

At some point in proceedings I decided to head over to the decking over the pond. Paul “The Professor” Rendell had decided to jump on the small rowing boat, and I decided to join him. Michelle would tell me later that she was prettified that I would fall into the water (I cannot swim!). It was good fun and our friends enjoyed taking photos and videoing the whole entertaining show. Paul tried to rock the boat, literally and get me thrown out but I grabbed onto an oar to keep my balance. By this time we were some distance from the landing area, so paddled back to the now big crowd spectating. The Prof as he is now known, jumped off and kicked the boat, so I was out at sea (okay let me be less dramatic, the pond) on my own. I made my way back slowly and then Ben kept the boat secure so I can leap back onto the decking. There were cheers and laughs all around. Someone mentioned The Lonely Island ft. T-Pain – I’m On A Boat. That got me thinking and I hoped I could get the footage from Nige and put something together. (Update – it took me 18 months but the video has finally landed on YouTube).

Paul & TegThe Professor v The Feather
The Professor & The FeatherKick The Boat Out

Tradition has it that Cuban cigars are smoked at this point in the evening, so the best man brought out a pack and they were shared around. This is probably the best moment to mention that Nigel Carter was had been invited and actually turned up! (Like my birthday last year). I was close to strangling him for coming up with my now default nickname Terry. Which will go a long way to explain the title of this blog post. Unfortunately, I do not have any photographs in my FlickR set to prove his attendance, but I am sure there are other people who took his picture. He is to blame for me being called Terry for the past four years. A nickname that has stuck to the point that people (by people I am predominately referring exclusively to Pav) change my name in their mobiles and MSN / IM contact lists to “Terry”. I was able to invite Nige to my stag weekend at the end of July. He will be there, as he has offered lifts to a few friends who are just attending the nocturnal activities. Hopefully, at some point, I can get my revenge!

It was time to cut the cake, beautifully baked by Divneet and featuring two skiers, well technically one male skier giving his female companion a piggy back. I managed to capture the groom with an excellent facial expression as they both cut the cake.

The Skiers
Excited Pav & All Smiles Emily

Time for the first dance everybody? The band kicked in and played Counting Crows – Mr. Jones. The evening party could finally begin!

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