Sunday 23rd November 2003

Just finished watching JFK: Beyond Conspiracy on BBC2. Overall an interesting programme, which delved quite deep into the various aspects surrounding the assassination of the 35th US President. Ultimately, it attempted to bring some closure, to one of the most discussed topics in the world. There was no conspiracy and Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Perhaps, but we shall never know the whole truth. With recent news of Michael Jackson, and the media circus regarding the allegation of child abuse, it was great to hear that his latest album, “Number Ones”, went straight in at number one on the album chart this afternoon. His single, “One More Chance“, is released tomorrow. Hopefully, it will go straight in at number one in the singles chart next week. A fantastic site, I’ve found on the ‘King Of Pop’ is MJ Fan Club. It provides a worldwide service, providing news, events information and a forum. Well worth a visit, as the site has been designed by a true fan and created with high precision.

New photos gallery to be uploaded this week and also in the pipeline, is a guest book for all visitors to leave their comments on the site. I was informed by Steve Bevis, webmaster of UK Britney Fan Site Network that the Mis-Teeq site has been pulled after no one was visiting it anymore. Therefore link removed from links page. However, he does have sites on various pop groups, including Liberty X, Tatu and Shakira. I have broken one of my own records today. This is my tenth blog update this month. My average over the course of the last two years, has been around six entries per a month, even some of those, lacking major content, beyond a few lines. The reason for this is difficult to establish, I know I don’t have as much time, and there isn’t as much going on in my life. Perhaps, I just want to tell the world what is on my mind, more often. It was great being home for the weekend. I hadn’t seen my family for over a month and there is a warm feeling of being back in High Wycombe. I know I didn’t really do much, over the course of the weekend, but it was a relief to see some familiar faces and taste mum’s home cooked food! Going back to how I spent this time last year, and it was very different. Plans I had made came crumbling down around me, and instead I had to ‘make do’ with a much more local setting and company, which brought with it more pain than joy. We shouldn’t judge people, on their relations, but it is surprising to find, that now, a year on, they are far from friends. During the night, I remember, my body being sitting in Bar 38, but my mind was in some far distant universe. Perhaps more likely a parallel universe, where everything I had gone somewhat according to plan. A young lady, a complete stranger, made her way over me and came up with some really random comments. “You friends, look they are going to get it together, and you seem like you don’t want to be here.” She then made some suggestion of what I should do, which I cannot recollect now. My response, “Maybe, I wish I was at home watching TV!” I was abrupt I agree, but what right had this individual to come and pass judgment on me. Everyone is entitled to their own view and opinion, that is their right. However, on this day, at that bar, on that Saturday night? Why? Last year, I recorded in my blog, that “Is your birthday, the closest you come to being invincible?” Maybe we do, but why had this girl approached me in such fashion and made the comments that she had. I never really pondered the event at the time. My evening wasn’t going well and it wasn’t really going to get any better until I got home and went to sleep. My dreams shattered and my heart sunk. I deserved better than that on that night. For sure, perhaps I was getting something I deserved, but did I really deserve to be spending the evening with people, who were on the fringes of friendship and for whom this day meant very little and for me so much? Why should I think about this anymore? It is in the past, and we live for today and tomorrow. I’m only reflecting on the past and trying to make sense of what it means for the present and ultimately the future. My future.

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